Eat, Pray, Love

Gag, Pray for a quick death, and Hated this movie! Another self-indulgent American is dissatisfied with her life, and thinks the answer lies in things outside of herself.

This movie, based on a book, stars Julia Roberts as a woman searching for meaning in her life, and who decides to globetrot the world to find it.

Notes to the film version of Elizabeth Gilbert:

1. There is more than one pensione in Italy. I'm sure you can find one that include allmodcons, so stop arguing with the landlady about having to boil your bathwater and the scaffolding holding up a building that has more history than you will ever see in your life. Otherwise, the adventure of being in a foreign land is living as the host culture does. There's this famous saying, "When in Rome, do as the Romans do." Have you heard of it? If not, check into a Marriott hotel instead.

2. It's nice you can give advice to a teen bride facing an arranged marriage (you know, since you were so successful in your own marriage) and get all your friends to donate to pay for a house for a poor single mother. Don't brag about it.

3. Open your ears. I don't know how many times I had to endure people telling you to learn to like yourself. If they have to keep telling you, maybe that's a clue you're not a likeable person.

4. If there is a sequel (NO!) please pick some actors that reflect real Americans. We don't have sympathy for your dissolving love life if you look like Julia Roberts and have to choose from Billy Crudup, James Franco and Javier Bardem. Oh, and I forgot that buff naked Australian.

5. Maybe next time you can offer us a little less than 2h15m of What You Did On Your Summer Vacation. Even Richard Jenkins' heartfelt confession wasn't enough to keep me from looking at my watch, waiting for this movie to end.

This sort of film appeals to a specific sort of person, which is not me. Perhaps some people can find some relatability to the character, or have found themselves in a similar search about life. I just found the character another tiresome personification of the entitled American.