The Host (2013)

Stop the insanity! I thought after the Twilight series was over we would be through with the combination platter of Stephenie Meyers and the movies. Unfortunately this is not the case.

The Host bases its story on a science fiction precept that aliens have invaded earth and taken over human bodies. The aliens, tentacled glowworms, are inserted into humans and take over the bodies, destroying the personalities of the human host (the film doesn’t say who performed the first surgery, since the glowworms obviously have no opposable thumbs). Some human citizens have become rebel factions, hiding out in the desert against these new invaders. Even a few who have been overtaken don’t take kindly to their new way of life, with their minds still active but trapped by the invading being called "souls" in the movie (ugh). One of these soon-to-be-disgruntled humans is Melanie (Saoirse Ronan), who is living a nomadic life with her young brother when she is chanced upon by another survivor, Jared (Max Irons). For a time they live in the lonely outback away from civilization and the film doesn’t say how, but Melanie is soon captured and invaded by a being who is closemouthed and wants to be called the Wanderer. Be sure to remember that--it is Wanderer with a capital W.

Wanderer is interrogated by a Seeker (Diane Kruger, another Capital Letter Alien), who wants to find out where the other rebels are hiding. Since at this point in the story, Wanderer/Melanie only knows of the existence of two other rebels, the importance the Seeker puts into her interrogation seems inflated to me. We the audience see that Melanie’s personality has not disappeared, and in fact still exists in her body, trying to coerce Wanderer not to give away the location of where her brother and lover might be. This internal struggle causes Wanderer to escape, fighting with Melanie's personality to save Melanie’s human friends and family, yet also maintain both Melanie and Wanderer’s own survival. She locates the desert caverns where her brother and, she finds, others are hiding: her uncle Jeb (William Hurt) and a few hot guys who alternately want her blood or her bod--Melanie’s lover Jared who distrusts her now that she has been overtaken by Wanderer, and Ian (Jake Abel) who also is distrustful but I guess becomes aroused enough to eventually defend and fall in love with the personality of Wanderer.

Wanderer lives with the rebels, with some defending her and others wary of her, but hot on her heels is Seeker. Seeker and the other aliens eventually track her down and Wanderer gives up a lot to save her friends.

While The Host tries to be a science fiction story (with a premise that frankly is not new), at its heart this is a teen romance drama with the most awful dialogue.  Ronan’s internal voiceover for Melanie is whiny and demanding, when she is not mooning over some guy. Wanderer doesn't know what she wants and does little to ensure her own survival.  Melanie barely gives her brother any attention once the hot guys are on the scene, despite him being her closest blood relative and her apparent protectiveness of him earlier in the story. Wanderer speaks constantly in Capital Letters and it appears that not using contractions means what she is saying has import. The film tries to make the character to be a Wise Old Person in Young Person’s Body but fails miserably.

Concepts used for their cool factor are not considered logically for the plot—the aliens dress all in white, so why don’t the rebels try to blend in with white clothing when they go on food raids? (And speaking of clothing, the aliens all seem to shop at Henri Bendel whereas the rebels seem to get their clothes at a Wal-Mart.) The human bodies, once they are overtaken by aliens, have silver eyes—why don’t the aliens cover them up with contacts and try to infiltrate the rebel factions? The humans now all live in this intricately carved yet "natural" cavern and sleep on stone beds and bathe in a volcano-warmed hot spring a la The Flintstones, but funnily enough they have a man made room with doors and windows for their infirmary inside the cavern. Another “cool factor” is the indoor wheatfield the rebels have created to sustain themselves, the crop is grown using mirrors to reflect the sun's rays indoors. Really? You plant a food that needs to be processed several times to make something edible instead of something you can pick off the stalk and eat right there? Apparently all the foodstuffs they can make is bread and water, supplemented by what they can steal from a store called, appropriately but inanely, STORE (they better make sure their can opener is in operating condition). The silly story even uses the need to kiss Ian and then Jared a plot point, and has an overabundance of token black actors (I know that is an oxymoron).  And designers/marketers, please do something with the movie poster.  It's boring and gives me no sense of what the movie is about.  Or, wait, perhaps it does.

Plot points such as why the aliens think invading another race is something good or why they think the humans would sit back and accept this are not even addressed.  We bring you designer clothes and chrome plated vehicles!  Antibiotics applied via mist instead of pills!  Bodies that regenerate!  But you would rather live in an agrarian society where Love Still Exists.  Oh well, world domination has its setbacks.

While the characters I assume are in their early twenties, the mentalities of this movie’s creators are probably something around 11. I suspect many older 20-somethings or even 30-somethings of the female persuasion will be drawn to this, for the Stephenie Meyer cachet or the somewhat attractive young males Melanie has to choose/not choose from (don’t worry, she gets her cake and gets to eats it too). This probably won't appeal to any red-blooded males since the movie doesn't attempt to come close to an R-rating in terms of sex or violence, or even an M for Mature rating in terms of the story's intelligence.  Skip this self-important, immaturely written mess.